Equanimity [suh-bat-i-kuhl]
noun.
: mental or emotional stability or composure, especially under tension or strain; calmness;
: evenness of mind especially under stress;
On my journey to answer “What’s the purpose of life?”,
I needed to answer these 3 questions:
2 Down 1 to go.
Where to live for 5 yearsBali, Indonesia - AsiaHow do I have freedom of time and location
What to learn for the next 5 yearsFood & Water
I’m still looking for a path to give me freedom of time & location - so I can spend it with family and friends.
AI is clearly not there yet. It’s very useful for a lot of things already. But for it to be even more useful, I need to learn how it works. That means learning code.
I’ve gone very deep into concepts, theories, workflows of how softwares and hardwares work together. The fundamental understanding has always been required for an investor.
However, the ugly truth is that, most investors have never built an app by themselves, from scratch. Myself included.
At 34 after 12 years of working in tech, 8 years in executive & partner roles, am I really going to learn how to code!?
“There’s no way I can compete against someone learned it since they were 12.”
“Coding needs talent.”
“What if nothing I build become successful?”
“What if other people don’t believe that I can build?”
I hit a wall. And the opposing voices became louder.
The list went on.
I’ve seen this before in other founders. I’ve dealt with this early in my career, and I thought I’ve conquered it. This, my friends, is what we call the classic - Liming Beliefs.
Limiting Beliefs
Our lives are full of them.
“If I quit my job, I won’t survive.”
”If I leave this person, I won’t find a person that treats me better.”
”I can never learn how to sing / dance / code / run / jump / swim…”
”I’m too short / small / big / tall / stupid / … to do XYZ”
We are all dealt different cards in life, but the limiting beliefs stay the same. In fact, they become louder as we get older. We start to label ourselves. Those labels, don’t allow us to anything else.
The only path? Identify them, and go through them one by one.
Be Aware
I’m typically the one that point out the limiting beliefs in others, but during this year of sabbatical it really put my practice to the test. Here, let me show you how I broke down mine:
- But I’m 34…
We are told that the older we get, the slower we are. The more risk averse we become. The learning becomes more difficult.
But - The tools get better. The knowledge to use the tools become easier. Our experience helps us learn faster. We make better judgements.
We are always in the best moment of our life to learn new things.
- The younger guys + gals can learn faster…
Competition truly only exist in a confined environment. Let’s say a tennis match. X number of sets and points. Life doesn’t have rules. Neither does it have any confinement. Therefore, competition really is an illusion in the long term.
- What if nothing I build become successful…
What is success anyways? Money? money is used to exchange value. If people find what I offer valuable, they will pay. If not they won’t. Provide value and everything will align. If one person finds what I build valuable, even if that person is me, it is enough to call it a success.
- What if other people don’t believe that I can build?
This is the toughest one for me. The past image of ourselves, the past image of what others believe who we are. And who we are not. Changing labels is never easy, especially when it’s something we’ve never done before. But we all know this is not a good enough excuse to not do it. Reinventing ourselves is the only path forward.
Awareness wasn’t enough
These voices, they remained throughout the year of sabbatical, and I went and looked for tools to help me solve them.
I’m grateful to find my therapist Murray (https://www.instagram.com/murray_ash/) here in Bali who has also become a close friend of mine. We have regular sessions and 6 months ago he told me about a 10 day silent meditation course called Vipassana. I was not ready then, but it caught my attention.
Then 4 months ago, a founder friend from years ago who built and left a company worth billions mentioned that the 10 day course changed his life.
I finally signed up for my 34 birthday in June. About 100 hours of meditations from 4:30 am to 9 pm for 10 days, monk style, sitting on the floor mat, no back support, not even an eye contact with another person. The course helped me unlock many new tools which I’ll share more along the way.
Vipassana is not a religious practice and focuses its practice of turning individual misery (cravings & aversion) to happiness. This is the head teacher Goenka speaking in front of all the religious leaders at UN, receiving standing ovation from around the world.
I later found out that Jack Dorsey - Founder of Twitter (now X) is also a practitioner.
Everything is donation based. Especially for the first time students, it’s free to attend and they are being served by the donations of others come before them. Here’s how to register and learn more about it:
Vipassana Centers Around The World
Throughout the course, we were reminded of a core concept of Vipassana called:
Equanimity
simply put:
To not react to outcomes of good or bad.
We all need to learn this sooner or later to achieve greatness.
Our intentions and efforts are all that matters. The reactions of others are out of our control. The result of the efforts is also not for us to decide.
In the end, life is about entering the next arena, shooting the next shot, playing the next game, without knowing the outcome, and respond equanimously when the outcome is good or bad.
What’s the fun in winning, without losing? Only the good without the bad?
Anicca.
See you tomorrow.
